Kompressor Takes Break from Crushing America to Run for President

Kompressor Rocks the VoteIndustrial music artist Andreas K., better known as Kompressor, promises to offer a new voice in American politics. Kompressor has taken a break from recording industrial music to run for President.

This comes as a surprise to many political analysts. Kompressor, shown at right at a political rally, had not discussed his political ambitions previously. In a recent interview, Kompressor made no mention of political plans. Kompressor, who was born in Germany, also has not commented on how he plans to meet the qualifications for office.

The Kompressor for President site has the candidate’s views on many of the major issues on voter’s minds:

  • Urban America: “I try to park in city, but there is no room. When I am president, we will create many parking lots. I have landscaping experience, the parking lots will have trees on the side.”
  • Seniors: “Old people are very useful to tell stories. Ask them many things, perhaps they give you candy.”
  • Children: “Do not have children, soon you have no money and the teenager hates you.”
  • Native Americans: “You do not litter on the ground, these people are very sad.”
  • Economy & Jobs: “No jobs are available for people who have many skills. I have computer studies degree, but all day I drive this backhoe. Soon there will be jobs for all people.”
  • Veterans: “You leave the sidewalk and put down sign, I will give you job.”

Kompressor has been vocal on many other issues through his music. Songs like Adding up numbers suggest a strong support for education, while Brush your teeth conveys a strong commitment to personal responsibility. Kompressor has also spoken vigorously against mass media, in songs like We must destroy X10, and Destroy mass media.

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