Sorry if this comes off harsh to all the male Synthtopia readers that play the keytar, but consider it tough love.
Give a woman a keytar, and she’ll kill you with her death glare:

Give a guy a keytar, and he’ll look like a mouth breather:

Moral of the story: Unless your name is Herbie Hancock, don’t expect to look cool playing the keytar.
Next up – the extra bonus picture: Can you find the keytarist?
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Tags: Herbie Hancock, Jean Michel Jarre, keytar, keytar goddess, keytarist, Strange, strange musical instruments
25 Responses to “Proof That Herbie Hancock Is The Only Guy Ever To Look Cool Playing The Keytar”
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IMO Jan Hammer looks even cooler than Herbie, at least as great as him
Josh – we’re looking for hard evidence to disprove the theory, not just anecdotal evidence.
Got a photo link?
I tried looking for a photo of Keith Emerson with an improvised keytar, basically just a rope attached to some heavy-looking keyboard.
But to brighten up the day after looking at this:
http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/keytar2py4_4627.jpg
Oh, sorry. There you go:
http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/miamivice2.jpg
http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1719/hmmmmse6.jpg
I was going to say Jan Hammer too. How’s this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/neilvance/2257418239/ and http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/miamivice2.jpg
His Beyond the Mind’s Eye introduced me to playing synth as expressively like a guitar!
Jordan Rudess and his near-white goatee has been pretty badass: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/dd/Dream_Theater_Live_in_Argentina_03-03-08.jpg/500px-Dream_Theater_Live_in_Argentina_03-03-08.jpg
BlueBrat – nice! You may want to check out the keytar goddess posts.
Josh – I considered Jan Hammer before coming up with this theory, but while he’s a transcendentally awesome keytarist, an important electronic musician and a tremendously nice guy (see our Jan Hammer interview), time has not been kind on 80’s keyboardist fashion. More photos may be needed to determine if Hammer can disprove the theory.
Torley – I’m not sure if the Rudess image is relevant or not, since he’s clearly wielding not a run of the mill keytar, but a rare Krimellian Death Scimitar – but he does look pretty badass.
Have you never heard of DEVO? They looked cool no matter what, and they used the heaviest of the ‘key-tar’s’, the Moog Liberation. (Most of these people are simply key-tards.) Now, Herbie is awesome, Jan was okay, but Devo had that extra edge that keyboardists sorely needed (this was before NIN, Skinny Puppy and Ministry) Somewhere in an old issue of Keyboard Magazine is a pic of Devo with their Liberations. I have searched and cannot find. Perhaps you will find that pic. Perhaps I will find it still, and since I am on the clock, it will be a worthwhile search. LOL.
perpatron is the child-molesting robot keytarist for a band called “the human aftertaste”.
http://www.humanaftertaste.com
watch him touch kids and rock sweet keytar riffs!
And let’s not forget Edger Winters (go look up that video of “Frankenstein”). And he’s still at it (although I’m not sure if a Roland JP-8000 counts as a keytar just because you hang it around your neck).
What? No “babe” and “sexy” tags for these guys? Pish.
Jennifer –
I’ll leave it to you and the other Synthtopia readers of the better sex to decide if these guys deserve to be tagged – as babes, sexy or otherwise.
MuteMath!!!!!!
Most dudes I see on the keytar play it because in their heads they wish they were guitarists…
More to the point, they wish they could do scissor kicks off the bassdrum and dry-hump the audience…
Whats more, they think because their instrument is strapped on like a guitar it automatically allows them to powerslide accross the stage in ripped neon green spandex like VanHalen… Generally speaking tho, theyre nowhere near VanHalen status…
Not to diminish the apropriateness of the powerslide, but we need to remember that these moves only work when they are brought about BY THE MUSIC… Which is to say when Hendrix does it its not because he saw someone else doing it… its because the music tells him to and he does…
Whats more, the best guitarists dont generally play their instruments like a four-year-old plays his tenis-racket-air-guitar… if he did, he'd look just as much of a dork as these guys…
Herbie can pull it off because he isnt thinking about what his instrument looks like when he plays… the other guys seem to all be wanking off a bit with their keytars like 'thank god I can finally now play from the crotch'…
and those guys are always dorks…
Bottom line is, if you wanna look like your rocking the house, you had better be…
Yes. And Herbie Hancock is also a badass.
True.
I feel like I should also add having your picture taken while perfroming is kinda like people photographing you while you eat… the chances are higher than normal you could be caught looking like an idiot with your mouth hanging open…
looking cool is a part style, part personality and a part performance art… the balance is always delicate
Ummm guys…how can you forget GREG PHILLINGANES? He was one of the top session keyboardists (or keytarists) during the '70s and '80s, here's him playing with Eric Clapton, Phil Collins and Nathan East, absolutely kick ass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw
He even had a solo album and he was HOLDING THE RED ROLAND AX-1.
Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Here's that video:
[youtube D_DoH-YzHfw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_DoH-YzHfw youtube]Dude, I think I look pretty good rocking on the keytar. Plus, mine shoots fire.
[youtube DP1s-ZETWhc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP1s-ZETWhc youtube]http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=748081&...