sexy

If you’ve really been aching to see Ms March with a monster synth, the APC crew has got you covered.

While the site of a large modular synth, a Roland TB 303 or a Fairlight CMI III is titillation enough for most synth freaks, the 2010 APC calendar goes a step further.

Here’s what APC’s Simon Iddol has to say about their 2010 calendar:

The calendar itself is a limited edition (500 copies) A3 sized wall calendar featuring legendary synths like Fairlight CMI III, Roland TB 303, PPG Wave, EMS AKS or Roland Jupiter 8.

Our aim is to create a calendar like this in every year and to do something for the music world like the Pirelli calendar for the car world.

If every garage has a hot chick VS cool cars calendar, than every studio needs our calendar.

The model is a world famous Hungarian striptease dancer and model Dorothy Black.

The politically correct side of me thinks that they should have balanced out the gear photos featuring the “world famous Hungarian striptease dancer” with some shots with a hunky naked guy – but photos of naked guys with monster synths would probably kill the vintage synth resale market on eBay forever.

The calendars are $30 via PayPal. Details at the APC site.

SFW preview (that’s probably NSFW) here.

You already know that sexy 3D ads for software synths are a pet peeve in Synthtopia.

You know what else raises the hackles around here?

Sample libraries with porn movie names.

You know you’ve seen them.

Ghetto Grooves, for example, is a pretty descriptive title. You can figure you’re going to get some solid hip hop and r ‘n’ b loops, with a title like that.

By the time you get to Ghetto Grooves 3, though, you’re moving into porn movie title territory. You gotta figure that the sound developer has put things on autopilot.

Ghetto Grooves 3 sounds like something that you’re going to find in the back room at Guitar Center….through the 18 and over door. Read more…

Laurent Garnier’s Pay TV

If you thought that simulated sex sounds went out of style in dance music back in 1975, think again.

It’s still October – but it’s not too early to declare the worst trend of 2009: sexy 3D renderings in ads for virtual instruments.

Here are a few of the most annoyingly sexy 3d renderings for virtual instruments that we’ve seen in the last year.

HG Sounds’ Black Magic Loop Generator, above, looks awesomely hands-on.

Look at all those knobs! And the matte black finish – well you know my position on that.

Too bad it’s an “artists” 3D rendering. Read more…

AskMen.com, who apparently think that they are authorities on these things, have recommendations for Music That Enhances Sex.

They include these recommendations for Electronic Music For Sex:

Electronica
If you like to chill out and go through various speeds and tempos while doing the deed, then this music will serve to give you and your girl exactly what you’re looking for. This music, along with a good bottle of wine, can turn your session into something hypnotic.

Suggestions:
Cafe Del Mar Volumen Once
Paris Under A Groove – Stylistique Vol. 1

Dance
Considering you’re doing your own horizontal dance, listening to some soft, original dance music will serve to make her sway her hips more so on your penis. Personally, I think this is the best kind of music to have sex to.

Suggestions:
Beautiful Tomorrow – Blue Six
Nude Tempo 1 – Muguel Migs
Penetrate Deeper (Reis) – Deep Dish
Addictive Beats – Saeed & Palash

Never mind the horrifically bad commentary – Sex advice FAIL!

Perhaps Donna Summer & Giorgio Moroder’s I Feel Love?  Klaus Schulze’s Body Love soundtrack? Art Of Noise’s Moments In Love?

I don’t claim any special expertise in this area – but I expect that Synthtopia readers can do a lot better than AskMen’s cheesy advice.

Got a recommendation? Leave a comment below!