Hainbach Spent 1700€ On The Teenage Engineering Choir Dolls, Then Discovered Their Secret Horrors

For the last two weeks, everybody’s been talking about the Teenage Engineering Choir dolls.

When they were introduced, reader reactions ranged from “there is a sucker born every minute” to ‘even if you are not interested in their products, or cannot afford them, you can appreciate the design and creativity involved.”

Whatever your perspective, it’s hard to argue with success. The Choir dolls sold out in less than 10 days.

The horror is in your hand!

Fortunately for readers, German synthesist Hainbach spent 1700€ to get a complete set, working that synthfluencer discount. He’s not debating whether or not they’re toys, he’s too busy discovering their secret horrors.

He shared this video, in which he discusses his thoughts on the Choir, including the things that he likes and some bugs that he ran into. The highlight, thought, is his exporation of the hidden horrors of the Choir.

Hainbach calls the Choir “a bold move from Teenage Engineering”. Check out the video and then share your thoughts on the Choir in the comments!

40 thoughts on “Hainbach Spent 1700€ On The Teenage Engineering Choir Dolls, Then Discovered Their Secret Horrors

  1. Can we just frankly say how ridiculous this is….
    It’s like a dystopic comedy film that should have been made by Woody Allen 30 years ago.

    1. I do not get why anyone would take time out of their day to leave comments on the internet about how much they disagree with a product or a brand. If I am not interested in something, I move on to more exciting things. But why make that extra stop to complain about it? How does the existence of this affect anyone’s life so much that they have to actively oppose it? And what exactly do they hope to achieve with this?

      1. It doesn’t. And, probably the same as people who take time out of their busy, busy day to criticize other people’s behavior.

        1. But do you see the difference between criticizing peoples behavior and criticizing products? Those are inanimate things, they mean nothing unless you decide they do. Why would anyone let a wooden doll ruin their day? They must stand for something else that has nothing to do with TE.

            1. lol! “share your thoughts” should be “thoughts *and* prayers” for 1/2 the products shown here.

              I have nightmares of these whispering to each other in the dark.

      2. True, comments like that aren’t constructive & don’t help anyone.

        But at least the whingers and whiners’ continual clicking helps keep the Synthtopia Towers filled with minty fresh Oberheims & Moogs funded by ad revenue.

        1. The pathetic irony of the fact that you can’t distinguish between “whiners” commenting on things they don’t like and you commenting about not liking whiners

          Comments don’t need to be constructive or ‘help anyone”

          Perhaps you would like to live in a blinkered world where you only see and hear things you approve of

          I don’t

          1. Ha! Take a deep breath, mate. Let’s think this through: I was agreeing with Dacca Pucci that mrleonard’s comment was a useless whinge about what TE made & sold. Not about Hainbach making more interesting videos with stuff we’ll never see/use IRL.

            I’m all for criticism when its justified & clearly articulated. The first comment here is not like that. That’s why I rewatch each Audiopilz episode several times & jump to the end of reviews by Loopop, Sonic State etc.

            But of course you can’t see & review my internet history. So, yeah, feel free to keep assuming you know me based on a single comment.

            The subtext of my ridiculous comment was that articles like this keep Synthtopia afloat. Stoking trolls, haters & bickering like this might actually be in Synthhead’s financial interest.

            Does that seem blinkered still?

      3. It’s because the internet has become nothing but opinion, with a large majority of them useless. Especially because faceless comments barely hold any value, to me at least. Yeah, I wish things were different… But there’s not much besides this one and Synthanatomy to keep me updated (not counting FB or similar junk, with which I can’t be bothered anymore).

        1. Well, that’s what some people use them for, but I never got why. Why do we invest time, energy, thought, electricity, resources and what not to let “the world” (or the three people that bite) know that we think Teenage Engineering’s wooden dolls are dumb? Like, who cares? This is seriously mind-boggling to me, I might have to look for some scientific research on this phenomenon. It clearly does something for people, like release endorphins or something.

      4. bullshit – you do get it, because you are doing the exact same thing

        you are just taking sides with the corporation rather than the consumer – which is a entirely ridiculous stance IMHO

        i say, let people speak their minds…. and if you dont want people to talk, then shut up and dont talk – be the solution, not the problem

      5. For the same reason we argue about world affairs or what milk brand is better. Or leave comments criticizing others in threads like this. What about this is hard to understand?

    2. Monty Pythons rather…And it is not the developer, i see why this can be a fan thing to produce but those who buy it…Damn. This is the kind of project you either do by yourself or it is meaningless to purchase.

    3. Music is about artistic creativity, and both Hainbach and Teenage Engineering together have presented one of the most beautifully creative moments I’ve ever enjoyed from the internet, and best of all it was absolutely free – thank you!

  2. Sunny days, sweeing the clouds away! Friendly faces that you wont..find…heeeeere. Could you tel them they dont need to, need to use the internet…internet…internet.
    Someone had to be the test subject for these sexy wooden beauts. Hainbach would be the right guy for the job.

  3. Sony will out-trump them with an articulated Hatsune Miku 1/4 scale cast-off that integrates with your DAW by Blutetooth MIDI for $1,344 and they will be sold out before delivery. The human race is a waste of space.

  4. “share your thoughts on the Choir in the comments!“

    I could care less what people buy or not buy or what gear they use to make music. If you want to spend 5k on a 50 year old mono synth do it and be proud, if you want to buy dolls for your studio or nephew or whatever do it with confidence, why would you need approval from strangers on some music website or worse yet, somehow get butt hurt when others might disagree with the value one way or another? If it’s worth it to YOU, then damn the torpedoes! Display those dolls with pride! Insecurity is never an attractive look.

  5. Am I the only one that thinks that as a decor piece (if you are into that nordic minimalistic style) they are not that bad at all?
    In fact, if the speaker is decent quality, even not badly priced? At least, TE are trying something original/new

  6. I read the comments to see if I can discern the meaning of the clickbait title without wasting my time watching the video & falling for the clickbait . Unfortunately no-one has had the decency to explain so i will never know / gone…. unclicked .
    (no interest in product whatsoever , obviously)

  7. i dont understand all the butthurt idiots who jump at the chance to defend this silly corporation and their ridiculous antics

    and i dont really want to either

    1. I don’t understand all the butthurt idiots who jump at the chance to attack this corporation and their antics either. Don’t people have better things to do?

  8. for the record I applaud TE for doing different things even if sometimes they seem kinda dumb but it is the price I can’t get over – that is a lot of scratch for a sound output that I have from my old sing-a-ma-jig stuffies that cost me like $2 each that I like to sample

  9. Isn’t this just ridicules?
    They are very band limited devices, the latency is crap, they just start singing some default song as soon as they get a note-off?!!
    I mean I don’t mind the toy look and sure it’s cool with experimentation, but if you gonna offer something at this price tag at least make sure it has professional quality and is really usable from a play/feel point of view…

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